At some point or another, we experience breaking up with someone whom we had an amorous relationship or losing someone; be it a death or simply moving on it is still saddening moment in life. Whether we like it or not, sometimes this break up does not really come easy ever. It is expected that both of you will undergo painstaking moments and it is just normal. Once you had learned to love someone and had a connection or attachment to them, leaving them could be difficult and painful. Most often, we do not want to leave them, however, we have to. Today, we are going to check out the different stages of the grieving process before we can finally say that we had moved on.
1. The Denial Stage
The moment the truth unveils in front of your face, you would certainly be surprised. You could not believe that he/she died in such a way, or that someone is breaking up with you when you hardly could tell the other past days that there is something wrong. Am I right? And in order to resist the pain, your body's emotional instinct is to be numb and deny that it is happening, yet it is!
2. The Hurt-Guilt Stage
Once you the fact had already sunk into your system and being numb no longer serves right you will start feeling the pain. It could be unbearable and tough as you can possibly feel guilty of what had happened. At this stage, you would over analyze things in such a way, you will start to feel that you are lacking something that made them change their mind, or be the cause of their death. Had you do this and do that, this thing wouldn't be appearing or happening...this and that. Well, head on because it is a normal process when you are on pain but avoid turning to drug or alcohol as an escape of your pain.
3. The Angry Stage
Because the pain you felt can be unbearable especially during night times when all around you was silence and you are entertaining your solemn moments with yourself, you will feel angry and maybe hatred over those who left you. All the bottled negative emotions of loss are frustrating to the point that you want to vent out others. You will probably hate those people who will try to comfort you, giving into the thought that they never understand how you feel.
4. The Bargaining Stage
Even though you are hurt and broken, you do not want them to go. If it is death, you may probably wish to seek out psychic medium to converse or connect with the one you love that you lose. If it is break up, you might try to contact them, ask them for another chance even though at the back of your mind you know it is not all your fault. Somehow, they did wrong too yet they fail to recognize or acknowledge it but you are there, humbling yourself because you still value the time and bond you had created with them.
5. The Severe Loneliness Stage
If things aren't remedied after you asked for a chance, or you fail to have another chance of winning them back you found yourself drowning to loneliness and despair. You will realize how broken you are and the intensity of pain infected and you will reminisce that happy past with them.
6. The Isolation Stage
After thorough reflection, you decided to be all by yourself. You do not want to go out and mingle with others. You worry that people will ask you about your loved ones whom you just lost and you are not ready to give them any answers because visiting it again is too much at this time. The emptiness will even make you cynical about love, even doubting if life was ever been fair to you.
7. The Calmer Stage
After some time, you finally more calm about everything happening to you. You say you are already accustomed to it. You no longer spend your nights crying yet days still gloomy for you. You are taking baby steps in taking things slightly and being more organized. You get back to those things that you had left behind while mourning over your loss, maybe it is the piled utility bills that are still on the envelope or some project you had started yet stopped because of grieving.
8. The Reconstruction Stage
You try to cope up with life and those that matter. Days had passed and you realized you had lost not only the person but also your time. This stage you will go for a practical solution just to reconstruct what had been damaged and you are slowly living and coming back to your work.
9. The Acceptance Stage
This is the stage that you were able to deal with reality. You started to look forward after the tragedy but this does not necessarily mean that you are back to your old, happy and carefree self again. It is just a deliverance after being hurt tremendously.
10. The Hope Stage
At last, as you keep trying to forget everything on your own you had tried to mingle with groups. You will find some interesting activity to put your energy or you find another soul that catches your attention. You begin to indulge with their talk and discover others.
After all these ten stages, you are now stepping out from your darkness. You will now anticipate good tomorrow without those pain of past, and yes, you will once again feel peace and joy.
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