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Dating Chitchat: Why Do People Leave?

Updated: Mar 17, 2019

This is one of the commonly asked questions and most discussed topics when it comes to dating and relationships. ‘Why do people leave in a relationship?’ ‘Why do people leave us?’ Or it could be, ‘Why do you leave?’ ‘Why do you quit?’ ‘Why do you choose to give up?’


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There can be quite a number of reasons as to why people leave. And oftentimes, when a relationship fails, there is one who usually left confused, miserable and heartbroken.

As a confused, miserable and heartbroken soul, we repeatedly ask unnecessary questions to ourselves why such things happen, why such circumstances occur. Unnecessary because we tend to look for reasons which may or may not exist in the first place. Or we probably try to look back and force ourselves to analyze what we had done so wrong when we believe everything was going so smooth so far----or perhaps that’s the only thing we thought so?

Stop overthinking. The thing is... it is already over. Don’t try to prolong your agony. Don’t extend it way too far. You are only exhausting yourself. You are only draining your energy. And it is not helping you in any way.


But still, since you are a stubborn and self-willed human being, then you must still try to insist it your way. You will continue to seek for answers and no one can stop you.

Thus, here are the reasons as to why your partner left you or it could be the other way around.


Boredom Strikes

This is a common reason why people leave. The spark is gone. Life is gone. The excitement is gone. Everything’s gone. And they got bored.

Yeah, if you are someone who was just left by your partner, thinking about this possibility may hurt your feelings. Or your ego? Or your pride? Or your heart?

Whatever it may hurt, let it hurt. Whatever it may bleed, let it bleed. That way you’ll get over it.

We cannot really hold someone’s feelings and interest towards us. If they feel bored, it is not our problem. Thus, if you are trying to blame yourself right now because your ex-partner got bored on you, don’t waste your energy doing such.

Third Party perhaps?

It is a possibility. And it is not a new thing. One of the main reasons why couples split up is because of the third party.

And for that, again, it is not your fault that your ex-partner has been having an affair. On the contrary, you should feel grateful that you were able to get rid of such type.

“Once a cheater, always a cheater”

And it is true. You cannot deny that.

Your relationship is undergoing more bad times than good times

It is exhausting. Imagine having someone you fight every day.

“Your relationship should be a safe haven, not a battlefield.”

And that’s right. People often leave because it is becoming toxic. Love and respect is no longer being served.

And perhaps in some thoughts, it is better to leave in order to save the remaining love and respect you have for the person instead of waiting, struggling, fighting for it when you already know that your heart is getting filled with bad emotions than good ones towards your partner.

It won’t end well anyway. You will just empty yourself. Don’t empty yourself.

It must be a mistake from the very start

One of the reasons why people leave is this thing. It is a mistake in the first place to be in a relationship with you. Perhaps they didn’t truly love you. Or if they do, it wasn’t enough for them to stay. Half-love doesn’t have the capacity to withstand all the struggles and sacrifices that come with being in a relationship.

But then, if they didn’t love you enough or what they had is half-love for you then why did they let it happen?

The reason may fall for other social influence or pressure. It can be yours or your partner’s family or immediate friends. It could be because they keep on matching the two of you and your partner got carried away and had mistaken the ranging emotion as ‘love’---when it is not.

It is understandable. As humans, we crave attention and approval from the society or from our peers and to the group we want to belong in.

It may be very unfortunate to hear this possible reason, but then, there are cases wherein this could be one of the reasons why people leave.

They just wanted to be alone and to embrace themselves

This is a not so common reason why people leave. But then, it is not a reason to overlook. There are instances that people leave because they wanted to find themselves. Rebuild themselves. Redesign their goal in life. Reconstruct their purpose.

It may be hard to believe especially for the one who was left behind. It may not be an acceptable reason why people leave. There is even a time when you were presented with this kind of reason you are going to think it is just a joke. Because it doesn’t sound reasonable at all. It sounds absurd.

But then, not really. It is not really that absurd. Most of these kinds of people are undergoing an unexplainable phase in their lives wherein they could feel that there is lacking in them but they can’t pinpoint it. Or they do, then they must be aware that they needed to do it alone. They needed to face it alone. They needed to conquer it alone.

And as a result, you are left behind confused, miserable and heartbroken.

When this happens, you don’t have to hold on. You don’t have to force yourself to them. Don’t do that. It is not about you. It is not your fault. Because sometimes, holding on makes bigger damage than letting go.

Keep this in mind.

“When someone leaves, it is because someone else is about to arrive.”

You should never take yourself lightly. You matter. You are important. You are worthy. Thus, pick your battle carefully. Know when to fight, and when to give up.

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